• [ENGLISH] Reimu Hakurei VS Neptune : Rap Battle! (remastered)

    NEPTUNE vs REIMU HAKUREI : Rap Battle !

    (Heavily influenced by Epic Rap Battle of History and Epic Pixel Battle)

     

    Neptune belongs to Neptunia Franchise (Idea Factory)

    Reimu Hakurei belongs to Touhou Project (ZUN)

     

    I had fun writting that battle, so just enjoy everyone ^^

     

     

    NEPTUNE

    C'mon, fighting a weakling that is more boring than Arfoire?

    I'll Nep on your face and let me just tell, that's not a metaphor

    I have Vert played your games, she said this is nothing but cocaine

    Gather some lives and bombs cause you'll witness the power of the heroine

    I brought the JRPG gaming genre right up to a new Dimension

    You stole from DoDonPachi and just added some lolicon

    You're just another miko cosplaying other miko, I'm one of a kind

    I hope you have buffed your defense because I could rock you blind

    A full stock of punchlines is waiting to be released in my inventory

    When it comes to flipping up desperate situations, I'm an Idea Factory!

    I watched you solving incidents, all you do is some fairy-smashing

    Check the foes I'm facing day after day, now that's impressing!

    Maybe you could visit a Basilicom and pray for Histoire

    Tho I don't think she'll be Highly Responsive to Prayers

    Your whole crew would ragequit after a single Dragon Raid

    So step aside or you'll get a taste of my 32 bits mega-blade!

     

    REIMU HAKUREI

    You're playing in Lunatic Difficulty and you're about to get dissed

    Keep killing blue whales for experience and I'll call Greenpeace

    A gothic lolita grandma purple hag, you call that an enemy?

    You'll lose some teeth against Remilia, Yuyuko or Satori

    Weebs play your games because their skills are on the bottom

    Even in Easy mode they couldn't manage to beat Perfect Cherry Blossom

    You got a share crystal but can't manage to build a Mountain of Faith

    So I'll show you how a real protagonist deals with a so-called Goddess

    Your first game was an epic fail and owe everything to some boobs

    No need to wonder if Compile Heart used fan-service to brainwash noobs

    At least ZUN is a real artist and created a whole imaginary country

    He didn't need to steal this an that to get known in the Gamindustri

    How highly rated was your first game on Steam makes me depressed

    Cause it got more grindy than the first releases of Napalm Death

    Now step aside because you don't want to endure my wrath

    Stay sticked to Hyperdimension Neptunia or you'll need a ReBirth

     

    NEPTUNE

    Oh my how lewd, girl I think you need a harder gohai

    Just ask Google Picture who the two of us have the most hentai

    I got a hi-tech sword you got a gohai and you still want to play?

    You live in Illusion, I got a game called Reimu-Reimu-Reipu-Rei

    While you're asking for donations locked alone in your Shrine

    I got prayers all around the globe who laugh at my punchlines

    So why don't you visit Planeptune and pray for CPU Purple Heart

    Before I unleash my Limit Break all over your Touhou Project

     

    REIMU

    Bitch you wanna taste your own medicine? I'll blow you into pudding

    You chose your punchlines poorly cause you'll eat the conquest ending

    I smashed stronger youkai than your Killachine when I was five

    You couldn't even beat Cirno with a fulfilled gauge of EXE drive

    Your parodies couldn't compete against my well-written plots

    Check my gigantic game collection, how many spin-off you got?

    You just got lectured, don't even try to rely on your sister

    Or I'll toss all your funky crew to the Gamindustri Graveyard

     

     

     

    CHOOSE A WINNER !

     


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